....no.
i will tell a little story.
Last year during the summer, prior to meeting Oliver, there was a man that i wanted to have sex with. He offered. i do not know if he is anything other than vanilla. It was just someone i could be physical with when Master knew i was ready to be physical with someone.
His nickname is 'The body'. Why? Because one day he text me a nude photo of himself out of literally no where. Right outta the blue - BAM! Well H.E.L.L.O! i have to say that i was interested.
That being said i tried to hook up with him several times but nothing ever panned out, and to be honest i wasn't sure i could have sex with him anyway........being demi and all that. i was scared. But i really did want it, so i had a huge back and forth going on in my demi mind. Sucked big time. Master approved it if it were to ever happen.
Anyway, i hadn't heard from The body in months, more than several, and in between that time i had heard he was in some sort of relationship with someone. Fine whatever. i wasn't pining for The body or anything. After all i barely knew him...........well mentally anyway, cause i certainly did see a lot of him physically. i actually only talked to him in person a few times.
So Sunday morning at exactly 3:08 am i get a text from him saying "I love you". Um, what?
Later that morning, when he woke, we text back and forth a bit and he asked me to get together with him. What did i say? i told him i'd get back to him. Why? Because i freakin' can't say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No when in hell will Master allow me to see this guy.
i explained to Master what happened and He has given me until Friday of this week to tell The body "no". He says i need to start learning that i can say it. i am seriously stressing about it and i am scared. Why am i scared? i have absolutely no clue. Could it be because i am so submissive that i can't say it? Did something happen in my lifetime to cause this?
What, why, how?
Is anyone else like this?
i will tell a little story.
Last year during the summer, prior to meeting Oliver, there was a man that i wanted to have sex with. He offered. i do not know if he is anything other than vanilla. It was just someone i could be physical with when Master knew i was ready to be physical with someone.
His nickname is 'The body'. Why? Because one day he text me a nude photo of himself out of literally no where. Right outta the blue - BAM! Well H.E.L.L.O! i have to say that i was interested.
That being said i tried to hook up with him several times but nothing ever panned out, and to be honest i wasn't sure i could have sex with him anyway........being demi and all that. i was scared. But i really did want it, so i had a huge back and forth going on in my demi mind. Sucked big time. Master approved it if it were to ever happen.
Anyway, i hadn't heard from The body in months, more than several, and in between that time i had heard he was in some sort of relationship with someone. Fine whatever. i wasn't pining for The body or anything. After all i barely knew him...........well mentally anyway, cause i certainly did see a lot of him physically. i actually only talked to him in person a few times.
So Sunday morning at exactly 3:08 am i get a text from him saying "I love you". Um, what?
Later that morning, when he woke, we text back and forth a bit and he asked me to get together with him. What did i say? i told him i'd get back to him. Why? Because i freakin' can't say no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No when in hell will Master allow me to see this guy.
i explained to Master what happened and He has given me until Friday of this week to tell The body "no". He says i need to start learning that i can say it. i am seriously stressing about it and i am scared. Why am i scared? i have absolutely no clue. Could it be because i am so submissive that i can't say it? Did something happen in my lifetime to cause this?
What, why, how?
Is anyone else like this?
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