Oliver used the crop on me over the weekend, like i stated. But i realized something after he was done.
It hit (lol - that wasn't intentional) me that pain does not turn me on. Not at all. But..............i crave it. i love it. i need it.
The pain, for me, helps me forget anything that is going on in my life that causes me stress. As an over thinker, i have a lot of things that cause me stress. Getting the pain only allows me to concentrate on that alone. It's wonderful.
i could use a little pain right now......
So liking and needing pain....does this make me a masochist? Perhaps, yea i guess. i'd like to see what other pain i could be given. We know i didn't enjoy the wax. Perhaps that could be used as a form of punishment? i'm not sure since i should give that another go at some point. What other pain would i be into. Right now, it's mostly concentrated on my ass and the back of my legs a bit. i will have to look into that...............
It hit (lol - that wasn't intentional) me that pain does not turn me on. Not at all. But..............i crave it. i love it. i need it.
The pain, for me, helps me forget anything that is going on in my life that causes me stress. As an over thinker, i have a lot of things that cause me stress. Getting the pain only allows me to concentrate on that alone. It's wonderful.
i could use a little pain right now......
So liking and needing pain....does this make me a masochist? Perhaps, yea i guess. i'd like to see what other pain i could be given. We know i didn't enjoy the wax. Perhaps that could be used as a form of punishment? i'm not sure since i should give that another go at some point. What other pain would i be into. Right now, it's mostly concentrated on my ass and the back of my legs a bit. i will have to look into that...............
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